Many women who have experienced abuse or trauma in their relationships may find themselves having a variety of emotional, physical and behavioral reactions. This can be confusing and disturbing, yet a “normal” response to abnormal circumstances. These symptoms may be most acute the first week after an incident, yet may be present for weeks or months after leaving an abusive relationship.

Some of the normal reactions you may experience may include:

Physical Reactions

• Fatigue/Exhaustion
• Insomnia or sleeping too much
• Increased/decreased appetite
• Headaches
• Digestive problems

• Difficulty concentrating
• Startle reactions
• Memory disturbances
• Hyperactivity/hypoactivity
• Nightmares
• Isolating from others
• Inability to attach importance to anything other than this incident
• Crying
• Flashbacks about this or other traumatic incident(s)

• Fear
• Anxiety
• Guilt
• Depression
• Emotional sensitivity
• Feelings of helplessness
• Anger (which may be manifested by: irritability, frustration, violent fantasies, etc.)
• Amnesia/Blackouts for parts of the event

• Remember that you are experiencing normal reactions – don’t label yourself as “crazy”
• Avoid numbing the pain with the overuse of alcohol or drugs – it will only prolong and complicate things.
• Exercise, alternating with periods if relaxation may help some of the physical symptoms – try walking, running, bike riding, etc.
• Make sure you eat well-balanced, nutritional meals – vitamins such as C, B2, B6, Calcium and Magnesium may help with stress.
• Reach out to others – people do care. Talk to people who can be supportive – talk is healing medicine.
• Keep what parts of your life you can as normal as possible.
• Give yourself permission to feel rotten and stressed out at times and share your feelings with others who will be supportive.
• Try keeping a journal to write about your thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. Keep it somewhere private so that wherever you write will be just for you.
• Do things that are good for you – bubble baths, walks, eating right, hug your kids, read a book or take yourself out for breakfast or coffee, etc. Just devoting 15 to 20 minutes a day to yourself can make a big difference in how you feel

Adapted by Project Safeguard from Nancy Rich, MA; Trauma Management Consultants.